I Can't Wait For The Urologist...

I can't wait for my urologist (who was also my surgeon) appointment this week.  No, not because of the slap and tickle I will inevitably have to experience as soon as I get in his office.  I am hoping I will get an answer to why no matter how long it has been since my surgery, my incision just never seems to heal.

Today we took the abused basenji to her class that is supposed to break her out of her shell.  On the way back we decided to reward her for her hour of torture by taking her for a walk in the park.  I was a little gun shy about the whole thing after hurting myself so bad in Florida.  But that has been well over a month, and I haven't hurt myself that bad since.  However, we didn't get too far in to our walk before I felt something happening.  My wife asked if I was OK, and knowing how much I could potentially be hurting myself, I did the guy thing and said I was fine.  I don't think it took her too long to tell I was lying.  I think it was walking like an off balance Weeble Wobble that gave me away.

I think the best way to describe what happens is to compare it to taking a Band-Aid off.  You know how when a Band-Aid is on, most of the time you aren't even aware it is there.  Occasionally, your Band-Aid will catch on something while you are changing clothes or something, just giving you a little reminder that it is there, but not really hurting.  When it is time you take off your Band-Aid you start to peel it back and it doesn't hurt too bad, UNTIL you get to the point that you have to just rip it off because it is going to hurt no matter what you do from that point on.

Ever since my surgery, on a good day, my incision feels like wearing a Band-Aid.  Occasionally, I have a little tenderness there along my waistline where the incision is, but most of the time, I don't even notice it.  When I start doing too much physical activity it is like I am brushing against the Band-Aid.  Sometimes, I can feel the incision about to let loose, like today, where while walking, it was like I had pulled the the Band-Aid, but if I took one wrong step, the Band-Aid would be completely ripped off and leave me laying around for another two weeks.

I am tired of living like this.  There seems to be no rhyme or reason to when I get to that Band-Aid ripping point.  I can Wii up a storm with only a slight irritation, but I start walking on uneven terrain, and the effects are almost immediate.  However, when it let loose in Florida I was walking on the pavement, but I had been rolling around under a car for hours earlier.  I would have thought it would have pulled apart when I was practicing yoga underneath a Highlander, not when I was just walking minding my own business.  I don't like walking around through life like I am in a minefield, and I don't know when I am going to step on the one that will send shockwaves through my body.  It is bad enough just avoiding the minefield of poop during dog walks.

So, I am hoping this week's appointment will give me answers.  I don't care if he says I have to have another operation, use a walker, wear a girdle, sit around in traction, or drive a Rascal scooter through Key West getting stuck on curbs (that one was just for you, sisters), at this point I will do it.  Unfortunately, the first option they always offer is painkillers, which I always refuse, because I don't want to mask what is going on, I want to be healed!  Until I get an answer I will just keep tiptoe-limping through life praying that my next step is not onto a landmine that rips off my Band-Aid.