I took an unwanted break from writing mainly because I couldn't focus long enough to write. Between the doctors' appointments last week and the appointment yesterday, I was thinking about results, questions, possibilities, outcomes, etc.
The good news is that my results from my first three month cancer check-up were clear! I didn't really expect any result other than that, but no matter how much I try to tell myself everything is going to be fine, it is kind of hard to convince myself completely. After all, I didn't expect to find cancer in the first place. But that is behind me, and I have three months before I start worrying again.
I was more anxious to talk to the oncologist about my swimmers though. Although I trust my urologist, I feel like he was a little rash when he told me to basically forget about any baby making for another six months. I have been anxious to get back to baby making, and not just because of the fun involved in mixing the ingredients. There are several reasons, but I think there is a part of me that feels like I will be moving past all of this cancer crap once the baby stuff gets back on track.
My tests revealed that my swimmers weren't the strong swimmers we initially thought. I suspect part of that is my fault for getting tested as soon as they said I could. In my haste to move on with my life, I ran to the spankatorium to find out if we could start again. I wonder if I would have waited a few more days if the problem swimmers would have completely left the pool. That is where I differ with my urologist. His idea is to just do another test in May. Well, my first problem with that is that I don't know that we have to wait the full time frame to see if I rushed things the first time. My second problem is that his math was way off! The amount of days he said we should wait would have landed me somewhere in March, but then he said May.
There is a part of me that is a little embarrassed about all of this too. I don't want to become a regular at the jerknasium. I walk in and they tell me they have my favorite magazines laid out for me already and the video is cued up to where I stopped it last time. But I want to know when the games can start again. I don't care if I have to go in there a thousand times, I want to know exactly when it is safe to start again (although admittedly after a thousand times I may be a little chafed).
I had a heart to heart with my oncologist about this yesterday and he kind of agrees with me that the sooner the better. I asked him how to keep from offending my urologist and he said to not even go through him. He suggested working through my wife's doctor to order the test since she is the one I am trying to impregnate (my wife, not the doctor). He called this plan the "backdoor way" of getting my tests done. I go out to the car, excited about my oncologist's idea, and as soon as I said the words "backdoor way" in relation to getting pregnant, I was immediately vetoed. However, once she heard what the "backdoor way" was and that it had nothing to do with the plan that was conjured up in her mind by those words, she was more receptive to it (figuratively and literally).
So, that is where I am currently at as far as getting cancer behind me. I am clean. I don't plan on getting recancered anytime soon. I just want to be that One Nut Wonder. Now off to the Backdoor Cave and make a call with the Back Phone, to put the Back Plan in action.
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