After Cancer You Can't "Don't Worry About It"

Today I arrived early for my cancer support group.  Shortly after two others came in and we were talking a bit before the rest of the group arrived.  One person had missed that previous week and was asking about my results.  I told her I received the results of all my tests and that the lumps in my kidneys were just cysts.

This brought on a conversation amongst the three of us, all sharing the common bond of cancer.  When the lumps (or doctor's speak "masses") first showed up on my CT scan, I was told "It's probably nothing to worry about" and "Don't worry about it".  All three of us in the room had heard that message at one point or another in our treatment, and all three of us found it impossible "not to worry about it".  After you are told you have the Big C, any unknown is something to worry about.

Here are suggestions of things I can "not worry about".  A mechanic saying the tires will need replacing by next winter but in the mean time don't worry about it.  Not getting home in time to see a favorite TV show, it is now available on-demand so don't worry about it.  You forgot to send a obscene e-mail forward to your friend, you can always send it later, don't worry about it.  The restaurant you choose doesn't serve Pepsi, don't worry about it....well, that one actually is a pretty big deal.

My point is, doctors that haven't been through a cancer scare in their own life, don't know how hard it is not to worry about something when there is even the tiniest hint of a chance that it may be related to cancer.  A friend that has helped me a lot through my journey is living eight years cancer free.  For the past eight years they have flown through every exam without a problem...until this last one.  They had a questionable result and were told not to worry about it.  They told me that they did worry about it a lot.  Luckily it turned out to be nothing to worry about, for real.  But my friend's point to me was, the "not worry about it" syndrome never goes away, no matter how many good results you get in the mean time.  It's a perfectly normal reaction.

Later in group, completely unrelated to our pre-group conversation, the topic came up where two people mentioned how their "don't worry about it" diagnosis went on for years and later turned out to be cancer.  Now I am not saying that one shouldn't listen to their doctor's advice when told not to worry about it, but those of us who have lived through cancer and those of us who know someone who should have worried about it, we can't not worry about it.  Luckily, more often that not it really is nothing to worry about.

The ironic thing is as I was preparing to write tonight, I noticed a raised bump on my eye.  As most of us do in this modern age, I did a little internet research on what it could be.  Most of the things on the internet say "don't worry about it" but see a doctor immediately.  I bet you can guess what I am going to do as soon as the doctor's office opens.