If you haven't guessed by the delay in posting, being a real person kicked my butt! The whole day was a lot more work than I had planned, but I enjoyed most of it.
First, I forgot how much time it takes to actually get going in the morning. I had my time all planned out, including stopping for a not so nutritious breakfast at the arches, time to eat it, and getting to my volunteer meeting early to chat. My schedule went just as planned until I walked out the door...and back in...and back out...back in...back out, I was like Lindsay Lohan and jail. It had been so long since I had actually planned on being out and about all day, I kept remembering all the things I would need to make it through the day. I finally got on the road a little later than I hoped, so I figured I would just eat in the car. I also forgot about school buses. By the time I had stopped for them stopping at EVERY SINGLE KID'S HOUSE, time for breakfast was gone too. And if we are so paranoid that kids can't walk to a bus stop anymore, if two kids' houses are side by side, can't they at least stand in the corners of both of their yards so the bus can stop and pick them both up at the same time? Anyway, I finally make it to my meeting, with minutes to spare. So much for my plans so far today.
First I explain my silly, pathetic excuse for a mustache. After that, the meeting went fine, except I was expecting to take a few notes, and instead I was given two three ring binders. I am not really complaining, because that meant I didn't need to take near as good of notes. My next plan was to grab a bite to eat, when I was asked if I could do some volunteer work for a few hours. Since the volunteer work is also training for the job I hope to get, I jumped at the chance. I mean, I have eaten breakfast every other day this week, one day won't hurt. The volunteer work was fun. Part of what I went over was "new" Americans with Disabilities Act information, information that was out of date about ten years ago, but we had to print out these sixty two pages of "new" stuff. I think if people with these "disabilities" saw what was written about their needs, the would sue the Americans with Disabilities Act for prejudice and defamation under the Americans with Disabilities Act. I worked on a few other projects and soon it was time to meet my friend for lunch.
I get to Cracker Barrel (our usual spot), explain my pathetic and nearly invisible excuse for a mustache, and as usual we both order breakfast for lunch, which comes in handy because I am using this lunch as breakfast...and lunch. I should be getting used to this, but I am still a little taken aback as my seventy nine year old friend is telling me about the latest cool apps for our Androids. We spend lunch trading apps and solving the worlds problems. The big difference between us being that he actually was an elected official at one time that could solve some of the world's problems, and I just sit around and complain about them. Don't get me wrong, I don't just sit around all day complaining about the world's problems, I sit around all day and complain about a lot of other things too. You know like, why isn't my favorite show on, how come my ice cream is so hard, how come the people that are employed by the unemployment office never seem to work, why does my butt have to hurt from sitting around all day, stuff like that. Our check comes and we do the typical wrestling over who gets to pay. One of these days I am just going to pay the waitress in advance and really get the jump on him. It's getting close to my next appointment so my friend and I part ways vowing to finish saving the world next week.
I drive towards my cancer support group and I get stuck behind another school bus! This one has literally about thirty cars backed up behind it, which I thought was against the law when I took driver's ed, and won't pull over for two minutes to let them all pass while he stops at every single house!!! Luckily I have been stuck behind this bus before so I allowed myself a little extra time to get behind him and cuss. I get to group with a few minutes to spare, and I am a little bummed. First of all I am bummed walking around with this pathetic excuse for a mustache that I am tired of making excuses for and two of my favorites from group are missing this week. However, there are still enough of us cancer patients to have as good a time as a room full of cancer patients can have. And then the one my heart really goes out for walks in. He always looks tired, and I imagine from his treatment he is exhausted. My heart breaks for him because he has two young children and a very poor prognosis...that is until this week! Let me clarify, he still has the two young children, but now he has a different prognosis. His doctors finally found something that is not only working but working extremely well...especially for something that they didn't know if they would be able to treat at all to begin with. I must not be the only one that really feels for him, because there were instant smiles and cheers around the room, and that is not an easy thing to do with a room full of cancer patients. We eventually get to the subject that we have gotten on several times and that is how much we all hate CAT scans. We talk about it a lot. And we relive every single thing we hate about them. We also talk about how someone was told that the ones in the city aren't even very good so we are all pretty much going through CAT scan hell for nothing. All this talk is very interesting considering the next day I have an appointment to hear when my next CAT scan will be. We also complain about something you wouldn't think the cancer patients would complain about. We have complained several meetings about "Breast Cancer Awareness Month" and for several reasons I won't get into the conversations, mainly because they are supposed to be confidential, but one person in the group said the most profound thing about it that really summed up the conversation and how everyone in the room (including the breast cancer patients) felt. They said, "Breast Cancer Awareness Month has turned into Christmas. Everyone is wearing pink and buying pink, but it has been so commercialized that people don't know the reason the are doing all the pink things anymore." Wow! They so succinctly put into words what so many in that room frustrations were with the month.
I leave the meeting and left to do a little shopping that I had been meaning to do, but hadn't been able to. One of the places I had to stop was a former employer. I was hoping I didn't see any of my former coworkers, because I didn't want to explain that I had been laid off from the job I left them for, and that I had gotten cancer, and that I knew I had a stupid, pathetic excuse for a mustache but it was for a good cause. Luckily the only person I knew there was too busy talking to notice there was a customer, so I was able to get in and out without any problems. I finished up my shopping by stopping at one of my pre-chemo favorite restaurants for some take-out. It doesn't really sound good to me, but I am really hungry, and out of habit, this is the place I love to go when I am really hungry. I walk in and the smell hits my chemo nostrils and overwhelms me. I am not sure why I came in here, I am really not wanting this at all. Still, I order my usual and head home. By this point, I am not only hungry, but completely wiped out from my day pretending to be normal, and dying of thirst. Obviously, I have not recovered from chemo as much as I thought I had. I get home, still not looking forward to my former favorite meal, but yet I still devour it and it doesn't taste bad...doesn't taste as good as it does when I am not on chemo, but it doesn't taste bad either.
What did I learn? I learned that I am still recovering. I also learned that I can kind of pass for a normal person. I learned that it is possible to get too tired to blog. And finally I learned that I am tired of making excuses for my pathetic mustache and wish it would come in quicker, but as hair falls out every time I touch my head, I don't have high hopes on that one...but more about that in tomorrow's entry.
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