Hmmmm....Livestrong Does More Than Make Bracelets

As we wait for my "junk" to wake up after chemo (or what's left of it after surgery), our doctor has mentioned all the possibilities we have for getting pregnant.  Many of those possibilities cost a lot of money.

Before my cancer support group the other day, another woman and myself were both sporting our Livestrong bracelets, and talking about upcoming Livestrong events before the meeting started.  This lead into a conversation about Lance Armstrong and the Tour de France.   After the meeting started, when it was my turn to discuss things with the group, I asked if anyone knew of any foundations that would help pay for fertility treatments for testicular cancer patients.  Then someone asked me something so obvious, I felt absolutely stupid for not thinking of it myself.  She said, "Have you called Livestrong?"  I hadn't.  I hadn't thought to call the foundation started by a guy who had testicular cancer and had fertility problems and successfully fathered children since his treatment.  Why would I think to call that guy?!?!  Did I mention I felt stupid?

So, first thing the next day I called Livestrong and talked to a really nice young lady who sounded like she was about twelve years old.  I am hoping she was twelve years old, because she gave me names of several places that offer help for people in my situation, and all those names were wrong, and if she were twelve I could say "she got the names wrong, but she's only twelve, what do you expect?"  HOWEVER, they were just barely wrong, so I was able to type them into Livestrong's website and get the correct names for the foundations I was looking for.  Now back to the twelve year old, I am pretty sure she wasn't twelve (unless Texas doesn't have child labor laws), but nevertheless, do you realize how awkward it is talking about testicular cancer and fertility issues to someone on the phone that sounds like a twelve year old girl?  I expected Chris Hansen to get on the phone about halfway through the conversation and ask me what I was doing.

So, after figuring out the correct foundations, I started researching them.  Some of them had requirements that I qualified for and others I didn't qualify for.  One in particular I think was all talk.  They would pay for everything provided you filled out your application after getting diagnosed and prior to any treatment and you had to wait until you heard back from them before you proceeded, but then they would pay for everything!  Of course they will pay for everything, because they know there is absolutely no chance anyone will do that.  Your mind is going a million miles an hour once you have been diagnosed, the last thing you are thinking of is looking up foundations and filling out applications.  Here is a timeline, I got preliminarily diagnosed on a Tuesday, confirmed that Friday, was told to immediately go make a "deposit" at the "bank" followed by another on that Monday, and have my surgery Thursday.  That left literally a two hour window between my official diagnosis (which you need for the application) and the deposit to fill out the application, send it off, and wait for a reply.  Yeah, I am sure they give out tons of cash.  (That is sarcasm by the way.)  But I am also sure that company is telling everyone about this great program they have.

One of the more promising leads is a hospital. that I am all too familiar with, will do in vitro for free (if it comes to that) for testicular cancer patients in my situation (poor).  They have very little requirements, like you have to make less that $75,000, which I just barely squeaked under that requirement by about $70,000.  I love this hospital and would be happy to work with them, although admittedly, most of the time I am there I am on my back and unconscious.  But from what I remember about my visits there, they are good.

A question that frequently comes up when I mention in vitro is "Does that mean you guys will be like the Octomom?"  In our doctor's conversations about in vitro, not once has she mentioned the word "litter".  I don't think I need a bunch of kids at once, because not being a sports person I am not trying to make a "team".  Although being a fan of music, a power trio might be nice.  We are still hopeful though that the other tricks our doctor is having us do will work, including my junk working right again at some point.

So as we approach another set of fertility appointments, I am getting anxious to hear what the next step will be.  Do you remember the old flea circuses on cartoons and stuff?  I feel like my swimmers are having to do a sperm circus, because they are constantly washing them and counting them and freezing them and thawing them and who knows what else.  All I know, is the toughest thing I have had to do so far is look at dirty magazines.  Wait until we have a kid and I tell them all the hardships I went through to create them.  I am sure they will want to hear it.